We wanted to really like this episode. All of our insiders loved it and sang its praises. Meanwhile we were just “ok” with it. However it’s still time for our best moments of the episode! This was a Stark party and we were into it! We’re breaking oaths and taking names!
1. I can see clearly now
Arya has gone on to level 2 of Sexy Jesus’ Academy for Wayward Murdering Girls! We loved seeing her evolve in her lil’ Karate Kid montage and though we don’t buy her no one schtick for a second, we’re glad her story is moving along for something bigger.
2. Little Rickon is back
How terrible for him to come back in such a hopeful time for the Starks but in such a dire situation! While his living brothers and sisters are growing and thriving, he’s stuck with literally the most evil person in Westeros and a dead direwolf. The fact that Lord Umber refused to swear allegiance to Ramsay gives us a little hope that maybe it’s all a set-up. We hope to find out next week!
3. Bran is a teenager
Angst! I don’t want to be an old man in a tree! Time travel! My dad looks like NPH! More angst! The Tower of Joy sequence was the biggest tease of the series, and though we understand why they’re keeping a bit of mystery around it we’re still mad we didn’t get to see what was in the tower 😦
4. Everyone else is caught in a Fest of Snooze
Dany’s being held for trial for not letting her life end after the death of her husband. Tyrion’s a funny little third wheel. Varys is an ~insider~ and Qyburn stole his little birds. Literally no one cares what Cersei has to say. Tommen is being brainwashed by the High Sparrow. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
5. Jon Snow wants to find himself
After making everyone giddy over killing a teenager and being the butt of some locker-room jokes, he gives his boy Edd the cloak and peaces out on all the dudes that tried to save him (and the ones who didn’t). For the first time, he’s making a choice not for duty or for honor, but for himself! You go Jon!
Where is he off to now? Can we go with him? Why is he all mysterious and sad still?